Amusing Emails

I irregularly get amusing strange or 'interesting' emails.  Thought I'd start sharing some of them...  Let's start with this to make you groan......

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid.
When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....


I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed
him in front of a train.
He was chuffed to bits.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.

As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...

I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!


I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance.
Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was
refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.
A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in

Dubai would not understand the humour,
but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'

My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went
to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this,
I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.


Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield.

3.1415927  are dead

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.' I bought her some bathroom scales.

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.